(Dasharatha's grief. Source: Wikimedia)
"King Dasharatha! Your wives had the babies!" said one of the servants to the king.
"And?" said the king cautiously. "Are they boys or
girls?"
The servant was hesitant to reply at first. Then he croaked,
"A boy! And three girls."
The king was not too happy hearing about the three girls but was
thrilled about his son. He knew that now that he had a son who could carry out
his legacy. One day the sage Vishvamitra came into town begging the king to let
his son go on a journey to beat the demons who had taken over his city. The
king was hesitant at first but knew that his son Rama would be the only one who
could accomplish this mission. When Rama and Vishvamitra were getting ready to
go on their treacherous journey, Rama's sister Lakshmani snuck into their cart
and hid so that she could be part of this adventure. Lakshmani did not reveal
that she was with them until a few days into the journey because she did not
want her dad to get upset. Once Rama and Vishvamitra found out she was with
them, as furious as they were, Rama vowed to protect his sister.
The days were getting near to battle the demon, and Rama was ready
to make his dad proud. When they first arrived in the city they heard cries
coming from a few blocks away. Rama told his sister to stay in the cart until
he came back. Rama and Vishvamitra left to go save the city while Lakshmani was
left behind. As Rama approached the three headed demons, he grew fearless and
cockier about how easy this would be for him. Yet, little did he know that
there was a whole army of them.
Rama began to attack, and one by one the demons fell. However,
when he got to the last three he grew restless. He kept trying and yet they
would find a way to jab him here and there. Lakshmani was respectfully abiding
by her brother's request but started to worry, when she suddenly got a vision
from the goddess Thataka. Thataka was a goddess who was actually the wife and
mother of the three demons that Rama was trying to fight off. Thataka was
ashamed of her husband and sons and did not agree with terrorizing innocent
people. Therefore she wanted to help.
In the vision that Thataka sent Lakshmani there were three demons
who were each eating a part of Rama’s body. In her vision she also saw three
poisonous stones hidden in the city. In that moment Lakshmani knew that she had
to do something to help her brother. She quickly left the cart and started to
search for the stones. When she finally gathered the stones she followed the
cries of the people. She slowly approached the demons from behind and swiftly
chucked the stones into their throats. Before the demons realized what it was,
they swallowed the stones and fell to the ground.
The people cheered and showered Rama in love and admiration. Rama
quickly stopped the parades and confessed to the people that it was not him who
had beaten the demons. He looked at his sister in shock but proudly announced
her as the savior of the city. The people were as shocked as Rama. A girl
defeated the demons? Never had they ever imagined a girl being capable of doing
anything such as this.
Lakshmani and Rama returned home to their kingdom. King Dasharatha
was patiently awaiting their arrival. He wanted to congratulate his son for
defeating the demons and saving everyone, at the same time, making sure his
delicate little girl made it home safe. When Rama explained to the king in
detail of what actually happened, the king did not know how to react. He spent
many days locked in his sanctuary. As the people eagerly awaited his reaction,
there was lots of gossip going around that Lakshmani was going to be exiled
because she was disobedient.
However, when the king came out, he decided to exile Rama. He said
that Rama was an embarrassment to him and would not allow him to continue to
ruin the family name. Rama’s sisters were not happy with this decision and
decided to go and bring back their brother. During their journey Lakshmani ran
into Ravana, Rama’s enemy. Ravana was very witty and charming, and Lakshmani
soon fell for him. She told Ravana that they were on a mission to find their
brother and bring him back to their kingdom. Ravana used this as a chance to
get back at Rama. He led Lakshmani on and followed the sister around the forest
to seek Rama.
When they finally found Rama hidden deep in the forest, Ravana
declared a war against him. Ravana and Rama started to fight. They would not
stop until the other was dead. Lakshmani, distraught by what she was seeing,
soon got in the middle of it. She told them that she cared for both of them
deeply and could not live without them both. Rama and Ravana came to an
agreement. They would put their differences aside if the child of Ravana and
Lakshmani could become king or queen when they were older instead of Rama’s
child. Rama agreed and they all headed back to the kingdom.
King Dasharatha was very pleased to see how mature his kids were
handling the situations they stumbled upon. He appointed both Rama and Lakshmani
as the head of the kingdom. He now understood how important it was to let women
have a voice. He also saw how capable they were of solving problems and getting
people to come to agreements. Soon all three of his daughters got married and
were about to have kids.
"King Dasharatha! Your daughters had the babies!" said one of the servants to the king.
"And?" said the king cautiously. "Are they boys or
girls?"
The servant was hesitant to reply at first. Then he croaked,
"A boy! And three girls.”
The king was not too happy to hear about the boy, but was thrilled
to hear about the three girls.
Author's Notes:
This story is based on Narayan’s Ramayana. I changed a quite a few
aspects of the story. In the original story Rama is born with three brothers,
one being Lakshmana. Rama is the hero in the original one and is the one that
is most loved. One of the king’s wives gets jealous that Rama is being
proclaimed king so she asks Dasharatha to send Rama into exile. Though the king
dreads this, he does as she pleases. When Rama is sent into exile his brothers
go to find him to bring him back. During this time the king passes away of
grief. Also, in the original one Thataka is the demon that Rama must fight off.
In my story, I changed the plot dramatically. Instead of Rama being the hero I
changed the sex of his brother Lakshmana to a girl and made her the hero. I
took more of a feminist perspective in my story because I believe girls are
strong leaders and are often overlooked. I also tried to end my story with a
happy ending because I believe the real world is already full of sadness,
stories and movie should end happy. The picture that I choose was one of my
favorite pictures from the online reading guide. It does such a good job of
depicting all the emotions that are running through the people.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I love the gender switch you added to your story! When you showed the father dismissing the daughters I was interested to see if they would end up proving him wrong! It was interesting that you had Rama shift from a cocky prince to a supportive brother! It added a nice dynamic to the story! By the last line of your story I was wanting to throw my fist in the air! You did such a great job of showing how a few actions can change a mindset! I really enjoyed your take on the story and I think you did a great job!
ReplyDeleteI loved your take on this story. The changes you made to the characters made the story your own and it was great. I liked that you switched it to a feminist version of this story, where a female was a hero too. The character development was fantastic, I loved how the king changes his mind at the end of the story. I look forward to reading more of your work, this was an awesome story!
ReplyDeleteI like what you did with the story! When the demons died and the crowd was cheering for Rama, I first thought that he was going to take the attention and glory away from Lakshmana. I am happy that he did not do this. I agree with King Dasharatha on how mature they were! I thought that it was going to be a little rockier, but they were able to work it out! I like the twist at the end. Girl power!
ReplyDeleteHi Mehik!
ReplyDeleteWow! The gender switch in your story really blew me away. I thought maybe you were doing this just to change things, but then I read your author's note. Your feminist ideals and passion for women being independent definitely showed through this story! I wonder how this story would be different if the King, after all of this trouble, still believed that having a boy was better than a girl. What if you had told this story from Lakshmana's perspective? We would probably get to read more about how, in this story, she felt very strongly about her desire to be a strong woman, despite her father's desires. Something that I also really liked about this story was how you connected the beginning of the story to the end. This brought about a really nice closure, and I look forward to reading more of your work! Awesome job!
Hi Mehik, I liked the story that you created by the changing many aspects of the original story. The gender switch that you created was great to see, I liked how that changed because it gave leadership to women, which does not happen in this story very often at all. I liked how you put the story into the eyes of Lakshama because I did that too in two of my stories. It was great to read. Great job.
ReplyDeleteHi Mehik! I really enjoy reading your story and it is such a nice twist to see a gender flip of Lakshmana into a strong and "disobedient" lady that she is! I the description about Lakshmani killing the rakhasha monsters and saving her brother. The idea of them swallowing the stone and die is something I have never read about before. I also like that Rama honors her in the end instead of taking all the credit to himself. One thing I wish to see from your story is a bit more dialogues between the characters. I am curious about Ravana and Lakshmani's first meeting and wondering what they talk about since Ravana is Rama's enemy after all. When the King decides to put Rama into exile, I was like "WHAT? PLOT TWIST?" but in the end, they come home and the King is happy to be a grandpa, and I like that! Great job on writing the story!!
ReplyDeleteMehik, I like the title of your blog! Very cute! The next thing I noticed when looking through your portfolio index, was how short your blurbs are. They don’t really tell me anything about what your stories are about. They do not draw me in to want to read them. You might add some sort of a hook that will grab the reader’s attention so they will want to read it!
ReplyDeleteI think the changes you made to the characters were great. The gender change was a great idea in my opinion! It definitely changed things up a bit especially since it gives the woman the hero role in the story.
Your story was very connected from beginning to end. It flowed very well and the ideas connected to each other smoothly. I look forward to reading the rest of your work! This was one of my favorite stories to read so far!
Hi Mehik,
ReplyDeletethis is a very interesting take on the adventures of Rama and his brother Lakshmana (rather in this case his sister). There is a lot of good stuff in this story. The fact that you left Rama as a man but changed all other genders is something I am curious about, and I wounder if that would have changed your story at all. Saying that the way you told their adventure with the sage while they were exiled was good. I really enjoyed the alternate events and their solutions. an example is the daemon informing Rama's sister of his ultimate demise if she did it save him using the poisonous stones. And the fact that she still protected Rama from the shadows is a solid characteristic for her to have as a female version of Lakshmana.
I am wondering if you will park a second part or continuation of the story at any time.